Ephesians 5:25-33(NIV) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
The only people who don’t have marriage issues are single people. I have said this many times throughout the years as friends and others have shared with me their hearts and sorrow when working to overcome marital concerns. a song that calls me to reconnect
Marriage takes time, commitment, patience, humor…tenacity. “Wait,” you might say, “you didn’t list love.” “Love, yeah, marriage definitely takes love, but, what do you believe love is,” I might reply. Is love a feeling that can be experienced and unexperienced – can you fall in and out of love? The dictionary defines love as both a noun and a verb. So a gut check question always is “how do I view love?”
Love is the only thing that endures (1 Corinthians 13). When everything in this world falls apart and ends…love will be the only thing left…what does it mean and look like then? In the thirteenth chapter of 1 Corinthians, love is defined as patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not self-seeking, not easily angered, doesn’t keep a record of wrong, does not delight in evil but is joyful in truth, protective, trusting, hopeful, persevering, never failing (noun and verb together always). So, another gut question…what kind of “love” are we making and extending to others? If these are the definitions of love, I have fallen short…everyday. Not without a hope of another chance to get it right, but, in all honesty, I fall short in genuinely and completely loving those around me. 1 John 4:7-8 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. a song that reminds me what true love looks like
Back to marriage…the real topic of this particular post (although, “Love Making” sounds like a catchy blog post too – and I’m sure God will teach me some things to share).
While reading “Thriving Family” magazine (free I might add from Focus on the Family), there was an article about how to get “Closer to God and Each Other" by Dr. David Clarke. It reminded me of how I have described our marriage as “a marriage of 3.” (there are actually wall plaques and such with this sentiment too now) When Christians marry, they are representing Christ and His church. We represent the love, care and honor that Christ shows and His church is supposed to reciprocate. This article really clearly articulated ways to cherish, love and nurture a strong relationship with your spouse and God.
I’m simply going to paraphrase and share the wisdom:
1. Share Your Spiritual Lives: 30 minute couple talk times: share what God is doing in your life through His word, experiences with others, daily quiet times, etc. How you are applying scripture in your life – spiritual set-backs and victories.
2. Pray Together Regularly: jot down praises and prayers requests. List all kinds of things as you need: your marriage, children, friends, family, church, physical problems, job concerns, ministries/charities you love and want to support, finances, missionaries, people in your life who don’t know Jesus, neighbors – like other prayer times, list those things with which you want God to intercede, change and grow…all the while praising Him for the work He’s going to do and has done. (Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.) Prayer deepens conversation and leads you to a greater level of intimacy. It will be awkward and weird and difficult at first – like any new habit you are trying to make stick…this will be worth overcoming the awkwardness.
3. Depend on God in tough times: life is painful and overwhelming at times…isn’t that one of the reasons you got married, so you wouldn’t have to walk this journey of life alone? Ask God to show you what He is teaching you through these moments/experiences. I would add, don’t forget to write down important turning points in the journey with God during these difficult moments– this helps to give you confidence and build your faith in God and one another during the next difficult time you get to endure together.
As you depend on God in these tough times, the three of you (God, husband and wife) will be strengthened and encouraged for the highs of life too. You will be 3 individuals working together and united as ONE. the commitment, a song of unity
Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Eternal Friendships
Galatians 5:22, 23 (NLT) But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. There is no law against these things!
These verses are used in a variety of ways. They pretty clearly spell out the heart and action attitude of every believer and follower of Jesus Christ. If our lives do not reflect these attributes, there is refining work to submit to!
I’m going to reflect on these verses in how our relationships with friends can glorify our overall Kingdom work.
First, a prayer for all of us: Heavenly Father, pour into us Your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Give each of us spiritual wisdom and understanding so we will grow in maturity, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ (Ephesians 4:13 (NLT). I pray our hearts will be flooded with light so we can understand the wonderful future You have promised us and the glorious inheritance You have called us to accept and pass on each day. Allow us to understand the great power, which raised Christ from the dead, that You have given each of us who believe You and Your son. Thank You for your authority over heaven and earth which You gave Your Son Jesus Christ for our benefit; that we as the whole Church body would pass on to benefit Your Kingdom. It is in Jesus’ name, who fills everything everywhere with His presence that we praise You. Amen.
When we keep to ourselves, we allow satan to gain a foothold to our lives. In godly friendships, we can safely bare our weaknesses, be strengthened and refined (Proverbs 27:17, NLT - As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend). Our primary Godly friendship is with God Himself – in that relationship, we are made complete and perfect while becoming perfected (Matthew 5:48, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Hebrews 10:14). He gives us all the equipping we need each time we meet and listen to Him.
After we are refreshed in our daily relationship with God, we can accurately reflect and share our Creator, Savior and Eternal Friend to our earthly friends both christian and non-christian. Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) states that if we walk with the wise we become wise but a companion of fools suffers harm. This does not mean that we cannot have friends who are unbelievers but our friends who have the most eternal potential and influence are people who strive to live and encourage us to live God’s way. We don’t need nor should we have friends who use us, wear us down, are jealous, talk disrespectfully or insult us or others, gossips about others or tries to get close to your spouse. If your friendship is godly, it will bear the fruit of Holy Spirit – He guides each of us to all truth (John 16:13-15).
Godly friends build you up, enrich your life and allow you to do the same for them. Trustworthy and faithful companions to talk to, pray with and offer help with small and big issues. Most importantly, a godly friendship will continually point you back to the standard of Christ and encourage you in ways to seek Him in all you do. The Power We Have As Friends, Friends Are Friends Forever - oldie but goodie
Galatians 6:2 (NIV) Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
1 Corinthians 1:10 (NIV) I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
These verses are used in a variety of ways. They pretty clearly spell out the heart and action attitude of every believer and follower of Jesus Christ. If our lives do not reflect these attributes, there is refining work to submit to!
I’m going to reflect on these verses in how our relationships with friends can glorify our overall Kingdom work.
First, a prayer for all of us: Heavenly Father, pour into us Your love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Give each of us spiritual wisdom and understanding so we will grow in maturity, measuring up to the full and complete standard of Christ (Ephesians 4:13 (NLT). I pray our hearts will be flooded with light so we can understand the wonderful future You have promised us and the glorious inheritance You have called us to accept and pass on each day. Allow us to understand the great power, which raised Christ from the dead, that You have given each of us who believe You and Your son. Thank You for your authority over heaven and earth which You gave Your Son Jesus Christ for our benefit; that we as the whole Church body would pass on to benefit Your Kingdom. It is in Jesus’ name, who fills everything everywhere with His presence that we praise You. Amen.
When we keep to ourselves, we allow satan to gain a foothold to our lives. In godly friendships, we can safely bare our weaknesses, be strengthened and refined (Proverbs 27:17, NLT - As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend). Our primary Godly friendship is with God Himself – in that relationship, we are made complete and perfect while becoming perfected (Matthew 5:48, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Hebrews 10:14). He gives us all the equipping we need each time we meet and listen to Him.
After we are refreshed in our daily relationship with God, we can accurately reflect and share our Creator, Savior and Eternal Friend to our earthly friends both christian and non-christian. Proverbs 13:20 (NIV) states that if we walk with the wise we become wise but a companion of fools suffers harm. This does not mean that we cannot have friends who are unbelievers but our friends who have the most eternal potential and influence are people who strive to live and encourage us to live God’s way. We don’t need nor should we have friends who use us, wear us down, are jealous, talk disrespectfully or insult us or others, gossips about others or tries to get close to your spouse. If your friendship is godly, it will bear the fruit of Holy Spirit – He guides each of us to all truth (John 16:13-15).
Godly friends build you up, enrich your life and allow you to do the same for them. Trustworthy and faithful companions to talk to, pray with and offer help with small and big issues. Most importantly, a godly friendship will continually point you back to the standard of Christ and encourage you in ways to seek Him in all you do. The Power We Have As Friends, Friends Are Friends Forever - oldie but goodie
Galatians 6:2 (NIV) Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
1 Corinthians 1:10 (NIV) I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
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