Monday, May 6, 2013
Calling All Men, Part 1
Esther 10:3 (NLT) He was very great among the Jews, who held him in high esteem, because he continued to work for the good of his people and to speak up for the welfare of all their descendants.
My husband and I are reading a book titled, “what’s the difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible” by John Piper. This book is very intriguing so far…to say the least. It’s amazing to me (us) how manhood and womanhood is defined and intended by God (our Creator) and how the world seeks to redefine or mold us differently. Also, how the world tries to lie about what God intended in the first place. For example, almost every commercial or sit-com represents the man/father as an incompetent oaf who is tolerated at best and openly mocked at worst.
The gender differences Piper describes from the Bible are not based on tasks, skill level or intelligence – it’s based on desires and intent or motives…it seems so far anyway, we haven’t finished it yet.
John Piper has a working definition of manhood and womanhood –this week and next I’ll share about manhood, after I’ll share his biblical insights on womanhood.
“At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.” Piper’s disclaimer: “…the definitions are not exhaustive. There is more to masculinity and femininity, but there is not less.”
1. “Mature masculinity expresses itself not in the demand to be served, but in the strength to serve and to sacrifice for the good of woman.” This means not only his wife and daughters but his mother, sisters, “sisters” in Christ and those women he may work with or have social interaction. Luke 22:26 (NLT) But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant.
2. “Mature masculinity does not assume the authority of Christ over woman, but advocates it. …that means leading his wife forward to depend not on him but on Christ. And practically, that rules out belittling supervision and fastidious oversight. It is meant to rule out all disdaining condescension adn any act that makes a mature woman feel patronized rather than honored and prized. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT) In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
3. “Mature masculinity does not presume superiority, but mobilizes the strengths of others. No human leader is infallible. Nor is any man superior to those he leads in every respect. In Ephesians 5:28-29 the wife is pictured as part of the man’s body as the church is part of Christ’s body….This rules out a leadership that treats a wife [or women in general] like a child. Moreover Christ does not lead the church as his daughter but as his wife. He is preparing her to be a “fellow-heir” (Romans 8:17), not a servant girl.”
4. “Mature masculinity does not have to initiate every action, but feels the responsibility to provide a general pattern of initiative. In a family the husband does not do all the thinking and planning. His leadership is to take responsibility in general to initiate and carry through the spiritual and moral planning for family life. …illustrated in Genesis 3:9 when God says to Adam first, “Where are you?” Eve had sinned first, but God does not seek her out first. Adam must give the first account to God for the moral life of the family in the garden of Eden. This does not mean the woman has no responsibility, as we will see. It simply means that man bears a unique and primary one.”
TO BE CONTINUED…Courageous
Monday, April 29, 2013
Driving Miss Angry
James 1:19, 20 (NIV) My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
Human anger is different from the anger of God…just like everything between God and man (Romans 11:33 (NLT), Isaiah 55:8 (NLT)) God’s anger always arose out of people disobeying and sinning against His children and turning from His love.
A friend once said, “anger is a motivation word – it drives you to do something to change a situation or behavior.” When we are angry, we can sin against others (in ways they have sinned against us) and perpetuate a hurtful and unhealthy cycle or we can express our anger in ways that results in a change for us and in us…regardless of what the other person changes. Anger can drive us toward a solution or drive us away. We can express Godly anger at sin (which will probably drive you to want to change something that isn’t right with the world or your life) or we can express human anger which, in my experience, only causes more pain and hurt for everyone. Followers and children of God get to choose if they will let God lead and be part of the solution or part of the problem.
In my humanity, I express anger in the following ways:
• hurtfully sarcastic remarks
• yelling
• slamming cabinets/doors
• cry (I HATE this reaction because it can be seen as manipulative or weak – when in reality, I am weak when I don’t depend on Holy Spirit to renew my mind and emotions back to His righteousness and what is best for me)
• throw things
• pace/walk quickly around with no real aim.
In Christ, I express anger in the following ways:
• Take an intentional walk to think and pray about the situation (sometimes stepping away for 30 minutes helps me put things in perspective and know how to change the situation for the good of everyone…or at least have the heart to try)
• Take deep breaths before I speak
• Share observable facts about why I’m angry instead of saying personal attacks (Ephesians 4:15 (NLT) Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.)
• Use “I” statements (e.g. I felt angry when you…, I felt )…talk about feeling more than thoughts. Feelings are good ways to start a conversation that moves a situation forward…I’ve learned I don’t have to stay in a feeling but expressing it honestly at least lets the other person say whether they intended me to feel that or if there was a misunderstanding. Also, I know how to take my feelings to scripture and seek God…He talks about healthy, beneficial ways to express EVERY feeling.
I saw this link today as I was getting ready to write this post. Author Paul David Tripp says that we get angry when good things become too important in our life. In this series, Paul shows you how to avoid sinning out of anger by leading you in an examination of your heart. Revive Our Hearts Radio Broadcast about Making things more important than People and How our human anger is a result
Human anger – anger not driven by God - makes wars, kills and destroys what is good and pure; Godly anger kills what is evil and hurtful to us and our well being…which anger will we let drive us and our life?
Ephesians 4:26, 27, 29-32 (NIV) In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Human anger is different from the anger of God…just like everything between God and man (Romans 11:33 (NLT), Isaiah 55:8 (NLT)) God’s anger always arose out of people disobeying and sinning against His children and turning from His love.
A friend once said, “anger is a motivation word – it drives you to do something to change a situation or behavior.” When we are angry, we can sin against others (in ways they have sinned against us) and perpetuate a hurtful and unhealthy cycle or we can express our anger in ways that results in a change for us and in us…regardless of what the other person changes. Anger can drive us toward a solution or drive us away. We can express Godly anger at sin (which will probably drive you to want to change something that isn’t right with the world or your life) or we can express human anger which, in my experience, only causes more pain and hurt for everyone. Followers and children of God get to choose if they will let God lead and be part of the solution or part of the problem.
In my humanity, I express anger in the following ways:
• hurtfully sarcastic remarks
• yelling
• slamming cabinets/doors
• cry (I HATE this reaction because it can be seen as manipulative or weak – when in reality, I am weak when I don’t depend on Holy Spirit to renew my mind and emotions back to His righteousness and what is best for me)
• throw things
• pace/walk quickly around with no real aim.
In Christ, I express anger in the following ways:
• Take an intentional walk to think and pray about the situation (sometimes stepping away for 30 minutes helps me put things in perspective and know how to change the situation for the good of everyone…or at least have the heart to try)
• Take deep breaths before I speak
• Share observable facts about why I’m angry instead of saying personal attacks (Ephesians 4:15 (NLT) Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.)
• Use “I” statements (e.g. I felt angry when you…, I felt )…talk about feeling more than thoughts. Feelings are good ways to start a conversation that moves a situation forward…I’ve learned I don’t have to stay in a feeling but expressing it honestly at least lets the other person say whether they intended me to feel that or if there was a misunderstanding. Also, I know how to take my feelings to scripture and seek God…He talks about healthy, beneficial ways to express EVERY feeling.
I saw this link today as I was getting ready to write this post. Author Paul David Tripp says that we get angry when good things become too important in our life. In this series, Paul shows you how to avoid sinning out of anger by leading you in an examination of your heart. Revive Our Hearts Radio Broadcast about Making things more important than People and How our human anger is a result
Human anger – anger not driven by God - makes wars, kills and destroys what is good and pure; Godly anger kills what is evil and hurtful to us and our well being…which anger will we let drive us and our life?
Ephesians 4:26, 27, 29-32 (NIV) In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
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