Lately my emotions have been tugged between two of my everyday realities. I am feeling the pressure of being a shepherd and the longing for comfort and care of an orphan. An email from a friend put this into perspective for me…it connected these feelings and identities. “A shepherd and an orphan are among the many biblical characters with calm, assured dignity. They obtained their poise from God, not through their own efforts. When God’s got you, you don’t have to trust yourself or be concerned about what anyone else thinks.”
Biblically, I look to Moses as a person well acquainted with both identities as well. He was adopted and orphaned. His biological family had to give him up to save his life and his adopted family tried repeatedly to kill him when he was older. He shepherded animals in his exile and people in His submission to the life God had for him. Moses followed and walked intimately with the LORD in both his responsibility as a shepherd of God’s people and the longing for direction and care as the orphan he was.
The same day I received my friends' email mentioned above, I had prayed to God for strength and asked Holy Spirit to fulfill all my needs related to shepherding the beautiful sheep He has given me (both biological and spiritual sheep (children)) and comforting me in my aloneness and longing in wanting a parent to love and care for me in all the ways He has taught me to love and care for others.
Through many circumstances and experiences lately, I have been profoundly reminded of my “orphan” status. I have felt and grieved that no one (or least anyone biological) is “out there” looking out for me and wondering if “I’m o.k.” in a parental sort of way. I do not have a mother or father interested in me in a careful, loving way. You may feel the same way – even if your parents are alive…orphaned can be a mindset as well as a legal experience. (Psalm 27:10, NLT) I’m sure everyone is acquainted with a feeling of lonely hopelessness at times. Times when you want to hear a loving, guiding voice but don’t have or know who to call…who would understand? I can say the LORD always is available and always understands – and He is both of those things – but sometimes, in deep parts of a person, we (I) need “Jesus with skin on.” A “in-your-face” person who can be touched, heard and present in ways that only God can – He continues to show His grace and provision in these ways.
Exodus 33:14-18 (NLT) The LORD replied, “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.” Then Moses said, “If you don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place. How will anyone know that you look favorably on me—on me and on your people—if you don’t go with us? For your presence among us sets your people and me apart from all other people on the earth.” The LORD replied to Moses, “I will indeed do what you have asked, for I look favorably on you, and I know you by name.” Moses responded, “Then show me your glorious presence.” Show Me Your Glory What follows this intimate conversation is one of the most spectacular and comforting passages of scripture. The LORD covers Moses with His strong and gentle hand in the cleft of a rock and passes by him – declaring who He is and how He loves his children. This is particularly comforting for someone who desires being held and loved by a parent. I have experienced this sense of comfort from God many times – He never fails to provide when I call Him.
God did not give Moses everything he wanted here on earth, but He always provided everything he needed. For example, Moses never got to experience the Promised Land but He experienced and saw the face and presence of His LORD…intimately, closely and profoundly everyday. He was cared for all the days of his life even into His death – the LORD buried him (Deuteronomy 34:6)!! His days were ordered and directed by the LORD and Moses always knew it – even through insecurity and trembling sometimes (he argued with God about being His prophet because of a speech impediment and was insecure about confronting Pharoah – the Book of Exodus recounts most of Moses’ life with God). Through the loving care He gave to Moses, He equipped him to care for and shepherd His people in miraculous and supernatural ways.
When the LORD is my banner and covers me and my needs (Exodus 17:15), I no longer am called anything but HIS. I know I am able to accomplish and have everything I need and desire in Him alone. Even now, my littlest one has run to me with tears in her eyes, saying "I want my mama..." and I am so glad I am called that name too and am here to comfort. My Eternal Identity because of Him
Ephesians 3:20 (NLT) Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
