Encouraging Scars

1 Peter 5:10 (NLT) In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation.

I’m not sure how I missed posting last week…the week was over before I knew what happened. This post has been jumbling in my mind for two weeks now and I still don’t quite know how to articulate it. Even When It's Hard

This past weekend was uneasy, empowering and encouraging for me. I was able to travel to a place that used to mean fear, shame and anxiety. This is a literal place…not just an emotional one. There is a town that I have avoided for 18 years because of the emotional wounds that it brings to mind…and this weekend, out of spite, out of gumption, out of stubbornness – I decided that God has healed so many of my wounds that I was no longer going to let anything (i.e. fear, shame, anxiety) direct my feet but Him. I dug my heels in (with some tears and trembling before I left) and walked the path that led to redemption. My reward was new and fun memories to overshadow the dark memories. I Still Believe

There are places I have NOT visited and things I have NOT done because of the emotional bondage past abuse has had over me. I know there are many people out there like me that have allowed the past (or present) and it’s emotional wounds to dictate where they go and what they accomplish. Ghosts from their past…emotional and mental specters, hinder the work and life God has for them. On my drive this weekend, God spoke many things of peace, redemption and security IN HIM. One of the phrases that He spoke gave me great insight into the life He desires for me:  He said, “the same power that took the sting of death away and set the moon and stars where they should be is the same power within you and for you. It is MY power that will take the sting of past hurts and wounds and set your feet firmly on the path that leads to life not death.”  He was for me before, during and after the hurt of my past – He never left or intended for me to be a slave to the evil I endured. (Jeremiah 29:11) He always wanted me to seek Him and live the victory and freedom He suffered and died for on my behalf. All the suffering I have endured is nothing compared to what He endured for me. He alone has the power to give my feet strength to move when the fear tries to set me in concrete shoes…He makes my feet light so I can soar above and reveal His truth of how life was given and lived in the midst of this wrecked world. I can reveal my encouraging and strengthened scars to those around me to reveal the hope, encouragement and love that Christ has done in healing and closing the wounds they bring to mind. The scars will never leave – they may fade, but they are meant to remind me of the life and experiences that Christ has brought me through and strengthened me in. No More Hiding

Galatians 2:20 (NLT) My old self has been crucified with Christ.[a] It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Covered and Equipped

Exodus 17:15 (NLT) Moses built an altar there and named it Yahweh-Nissi (which means “the LORD is my banner”).

Lately my emotions have been tugged between two of my everyday realities. I am feeling the pressure of being a shepherd and the longing for comfort and care of an orphan. An email from a friend put this into perspective for me…it connected these feelings and identities. “A shepherd and an orphan are among the many biblical characters with calm, assured dignity. They obtained their poise from God, not through their own efforts. When God’s got you, you don’t have to trust yourself or be concerned about what anyone else thinks.”

Biblically, I look to Moses as a person well acquainted with both identities as well. He was adopted and orphaned. His biological family had to give him up to save his life and his adopted family tried repeatedly to kill him when he was older. He shepherded animals in his exile and people in His submission to the life God had for him. Moses followed and walked intimately with the LORD in both his responsibility as a shepherd of God’s people and the longing for direction and care as the orphan he was.

The same day I received my friends' email mentioned above, I had prayed to God for strength and asked Holy Spirit to fulfill all my needs related to shepherding the beautiful sheep He has given me (both biological and spiritual sheep (children)) and comforting me in my aloneness and longing in wanting a parent to love and care for me in all the ways He has taught me to love and care for others.

Through many circumstances and experiences lately, I have been profoundly reminded of my “orphan” status. I have felt and grieved that no one (or least anyone biological) is “out there” looking out for me and wondering if “I’m o.k.” in a parental sort of way. I do not have a mother or father interested in me in a careful, loving way. You may feel the same way – even if your parents are alive…orphaned can be a mindset as well as a legal experience. (Psalm 27:10, NLT) I’m sure everyone is acquainted with a feeling of lonely hopelessness at times. Times when you want to hear a loving, guiding voice but don’t have or know who to call…who would understand? I can say the LORD always is available and always understands – and He is both of those things – but sometimes, in deep parts of a person, we (I) need “Jesus with skin on.” A “in-your-face” person who can be touched, heard and present in ways that only God can – He continues to show His grace and provision in these ways.

Exodus 33:14-18 (NLT) The LORD replied, “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.” Then Moses said, “If you don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place. How will anyone know that you look favorably on me—on me and on your people—if you don’t go with us? For your presence among us sets your people and me apart from all other people on the earth.” The LORD replied to Moses, “I will indeed do what you have asked, for I look favorably on you, and I know you by name.” Moses responded, “Then show me your glorious presence.” Show Me Your Glory  What follows this intimate conversation is one of the most spectacular and comforting passages of scripture. The LORD covers Moses with His strong and gentle hand in the cleft of a rock and passes by him – declaring who He is and how He loves his children. This is particularly comforting for someone who desires being held and loved by a parent. I have experienced this sense of comfort from God many times – He never fails to provide when I call Him.

God did not give Moses everything he wanted here on earth, but He always provided everything he needed. For example, Moses never got to experience the Promised Land but He experienced and saw the face and presence of His LORD…intimately, closely and profoundly everyday. He was cared for all the days of his life even into His death – the LORD buried him (Deuteronomy 34:6)!! His days were ordered and directed by the LORD and Moses always knew it – even through insecurity and trembling sometimes (he argued with God about being His prophet because of a speech impediment and was insecure about confronting Pharoah – the Book of Exodus recounts most of Moses’ life with God). Through the loving care He gave to Moses, He equipped him to care for and shepherd His people in miraculous and supernatural ways.

When the LORD is my banner and covers me and my needs (Exodus 17:15), I no longer am called anything but HIS. I know I am able to accomplish and have everything I need and desire in Him alone. Even now, my littlest one has run to me with tears in her eyes, saying "I want my mama..." and I am so glad I am called that name too and am here to comfort. My Eternal Identity because of Him

Ephesians 3:20 (NLT) Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.