James 1:19, 20 (NIV) My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
Human anger is different from the anger of God…just like everything between God and man (Romans 11:33 (NLT), Isaiah 55:8 (NLT)) God’s anger always arose out of people disobeying and sinning against His children and turning from His love.
A friend once said, “anger is a motivation word – it drives you to do something to change a situation or behavior.” When we are angry, we can sin against others (in ways they have sinned against us) and perpetuate a hurtful and unhealthy cycle or we can express our anger in ways that results in a change for us and in us…regardless of what the other person changes. Anger can drive us toward a solution or drive us away. We can express Godly anger at sin (which will probably drive you to want to change something that isn’t right with the world or your life) or we can express human anger which, in my experience, only causes more pain and hurt for everyone. Followers and children of God get to choose if they will let God lead and be part of the solution or part of the problem.
In my humanity, I express anger in the following ways:
• hurtfully sarcastic remarks
• yelling
• slamming cabinets/doors
• cry (I HATE this reaction because it can be seen as manipulative or weak – when in reality, I am weak when I don’t depend on Holy Spirit to renew my mind and emotions back to His righteousness and what is best for me)
• throw things
• pace/walk quickly around with no real aim.
In Christ, I express anger in the following ways:
• Take an intentional walk to think and pray about the situation (sometimes stepping away for 30 minutes helps me put things in perspective and know how to change the situation for the good of everyone…or at least have the heart to try)
• Take deep breaths before I speak
• Share observable facts about why I’m angry instead of saying personal attacks (Ephesians 4:15 (NLT) Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.)
• Use “I” statements (e.g. I felt angry when you…, I felt )…talk about feeling more than thoughts. Feelings are good ways to start a conversation that moves a situation forward…I’ve learned I don’t have to stay in a feeling but expressing it honestly at least lets the other person say whether they intended me to feel that or if there was a misunderstanding. Also, I know how to take my feelings to scripture and seek God…He talks about healthy, beneficial ways to express EVERY feeling.
I saw this link today as I was getting ready to write this post. Author Paul David Tripp says that we get angry when good things become too important in our life. In this series, Paul shows you how to avoid sinning out of anger by leading you in an examination of your heart. Revive Our Hearts Radio Broadcast about Making things more important than People and How our human anger is a result
Human anger – anger not driven by God - makes wars, kills and destroys what is good and pure; Godly anger kills what is evil and hurtful to us and our well being…which anger will we let drive us and our life?
Ephesians 4:26, 27, 29-32 (NIV) In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
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