John 8:36 (NIV) So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
For four weeks now, I’ve discussed traits of a Godly man and woman from a book my husband and I are reading titled, “what’s the difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible” by John Piper. This book, so far, is giving us a lot to consider and more importantly, a lot to reconsider. The gender differences Piper describes from the Bible are not based on tasks, skill level or intelligence. The differences have nothing to do with the stereotypes or lies the world will try to give you about the “church’s” degradation or misogynistic roles of men and women. It reveals that God has always intended men and women to be empowered uniquely and harmoniously – completing and encouraging one another in all ways.
I will once again share John Piper’s working definition of womanhood as well as insights I’ve gleaned and taken straight from his book – “At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.” Piper’s disclaimer: “…the definitions are not exhaustive. There is more to masculinity and femininity, but there is not less.”
5. “The disposition of mature femininity is experienced as freeing.” Did you catch that…IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE FREEING TO BE A WOMAN…I for one have not felt a whole lot of freedom in my womanhood – unhealthy body image, pressure to be things I’ve never felt comfortable in, pressure to express a “sexual revolution” that binds a woman to sinful practices and whims of perversion have skewed any “freedom” I was supposed to feel as a woman – I’ve had much more inclination to hide or undermine my femininity than to be free to express it. I pray for others like me, that Holy Spirit lifts your head and transforms your mind and body with the truths we are learning through our time together in this little corner of the blogoshere. Piper gives this illustration of the freedom Christ gives us, His daughters as we are conformed to His image in our “mature femininity” and aligned with His purpose of creating us women. “two women may jump from an airplane and experience the thrilling freedom of free-falling. But there is a difference: one is encumbered by a parachute on her back and the other is free from this burden. Which person is free? The one without the parachute feels free – even freer, since she does not feel the constraints of the parachute straps. But she is not truly free. She is in bondage to the force of gravity [the world] and to the deception that all is well because she feels unencumbered. This false sense of freedom is in fact bondage to calamity which is sure to happen after a fleeting moment of pleasure. … But the mature and wise woman does not seek this freedom by bending reality to fit her desires. … The greatest freedom is found in being so changed by God’s Spirit that you can do what you love to do and know that it conforms to the design of God and leads to life and glory (Romans 12:2). A More Beautiful You
6. “God does not intend for women to be squelched or cramped or frustrated. But neither does he intend for women to do whatever seems to remove those feelings without regard to the appropriateness of the action. Sometimes freedom comes from outward changes in circumstance. Sometimes it comes from inward changes of the heart and mind. … [T]rue freedom is not giving in to our every impulse. It is the sometimes painful and exhilarating discovery of God’s power to fight free from the bondage of our sinful selves.” (1 John 2:1-4).
7. “ ”Affirm” means that mature women advocate the kind of masculine-feminine complementarity that …gives the other the greatest scope for natural, pure, mature expression. But when a man does not possess mature masculinity the response of a mature woman is not to abandon her femininity. … there may be other occasions when women have no interaction with men and yet are still mature in their femininity. This is because femininity is a disposition to affirm the strength and leadership of worthy men, not just to experience it firsthand. …[T]here are [also] unique feminine strengths and insights that women embody even before they can be given to any man.”
8. “ “Receive” means that mature femininity feels natural and glad to accept the strength and leadership of worthy men. A mature woman is glad when a respectful, caring, upright man offers sensitive strength and provides a pattern of appropriate initiatives in their relationship. … She feels herself enhanced and honored and freed by his caring strength and servant-leadership.” Again, that word “freed” by strength and servant-leadership…if you are surrounded by men who lack a “caring strength and servant-leadership,” you may need to rethink who you let near.
9. “ “Nurture” means that a mature woman senses a responsibility not merely to receive, but to nurture and strengthen the resources of masculinity. She joins in the act of strength and shares in the process of leadership. She is, as Genesis 2:18 says, “a helper suitable for him. … [N]ot to imply…that women are merely recipients in relation to men. Mature women bring nurturing strengths and insights that make men stronger and wiser and that make the relationship richer.”
10. “Mature femininity does not express itself in the same way toward every man. A mature woman who is married, for example, does not welcome the same kind of strength and leadership from other men that she welcomes from her husband. But she will affirm and receive and nurture the strength and leadership of men in some form in all her relationships with men. This is true even though she may find herself in roles that put some men in a subordinate role to her. … There are ways for a woman to interact even with a male subordinate that signal to him and others her endorsement of his mature manhood in relationship to her as a woman. … [C]ulturally appropriate expressions of respect for his kind of strength, and glad acceptance of his gentlemanly courtesies.” There is some of this discourse in Piper’s book that I currently disagree with (I say currently because I don’t want to hinder my ability to change my mind or understand his position in way that I could agree with), however, he goes on with this point to say that a woman’s influence in personal relationships (and some professional) to be mostly non-directive…the way I am understanding his point at this time is that our influence as women needs to be indirect, without direct advice or opinion. I really hope this is not his intent. I am way to direct and do not believe in coded communication – I also think that when Christ says “make your no, no and your yes, yes”(Matthew 5:37) applied to women as well. **If you read this book and understand this part differently, please sharpen me and my understanding. Thanks in advance.**
Something I want to add before I end on one of Piper’s insights is this: there have been times in my past when I definitely didn’t “feel” like a woman (infertility comes to mind). I want to encourage anyone who doesn’t “feel” like a whole, complete woman for any reason that a relationship with Christ makes all our “holes” full…if you are not married, He makes you His bride. He becomes your love and provides for all your needs. He will be the lifter of your head and will hold you to Him. If you do not have children, He gives you children to love as you serve His kingdom – He will reveal little ones who desperately need the care and love of a godly woman. You may be the only godly, female influence in the life of a precious one whose home life is void of such comfort. Pray for those little ones around you, and Christ will give you a spiritual son or daughter to call your own – just like He gave a son a mother and a mother a son before He died on the cross (John 19:26). He does not desire any to be without family and love – You could be that loving, motherly presence to someone praying for you right now.
A final thought from Piper, “If it is true that manhood and womanhood are to complement rather than duplicate each other, and if it is true that the way God made us is good, then we should be very slow to gather a list of typical male weaknesses or a list of typical female weaknesses and draw a conclusion that either is of less value than the other. Men and women are of equal value and dignity in the eyes of God – both created in the image of God and utterly unique in the universe.”
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Monday, May 20, 2013
Calling All Women, Part 1
Calling all Women, Part 1
Proverbs 31:10-12 (NLT) A Wife of Noble Character: Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
The last two weeks, I’ve discussed traits of a Godly man from a book my husband and I are reading titled, “what’s the difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible” by John Piper. We are enjoying this book so far; it’s stretching us and giving us a lot to consider. I continue to be amazed about the difference that manhood and womanhood is defined and intended by God (our Creator) and how the world seeks to redefine or mold us.
I will reiterate that the gender differences Piper describes from the Bible are not based on tasks, skill level or intelligence – it’s based on desires and intent or motives…it seems so far anyway, we haven’t finished it yet.
John Piper has a working definition of manhood and womanhood –these next two weeks I’ll share his biblical insights on womanhood.
“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.” Piper’s disclaimer: “…the definitions are not exhaustive. There is more to masculinity and femininity, but there is not less.”
1. “Mature femininity refers not to what sin has made of womanhood or what popular opinion makes of it, but what God willed for it to be at its best. …False or immature stereotypes are sometimes identified as the essence of femininity.”
2. The following biblical examples draw us to strong, enduring Godly women and the traits God blesses within each of His daughters He has created: Ruth, Naomi, Sarah, Mary (Jesus’ mother and Magdalene) – I strongly recommend doing character studies of each woman. Just like reading biographies of great men and women, doing scripture character studies can encourage us to be more than we thought we could be.
3. Piper focuses on “mature femininity as a disposition rather than a set of behaviors or roles because mature femininity will express itself in so many different ways depending on the situation….and the specific acts that grow out of the disposition of womanhood vary considerably from relationship to relationship, not to mention from culture to culture.”
4. He does refer to the “s” word…you knew it was coming…SUBMISSION. It is “best if we define submission not in terms of specific behaviors, but as a disposition to yield to the husband’s authority and an inclination to follow his leadership. This [definition] is important because no submission of one human being to another is absolute. The husband does not replace Christ as the woman’s supreme authority. She must never follow her husband’s leadership into sin. She will not steal with him or get drunk with him or savor pornography with him or develop deceptive schemes with him. But even where a Christian wife may have to stand with Christ against the sinful will of her husband, she can still have a spirit of submission - a disposition to yield. She can show by her attitude and behavior that she does not like resisting his will and that she longs for him to forsake sin and lead in righteousness so that her disposition to honor him as head can again produce harmony.”
Like I said, many thoughts to consider and reexamine. I have been a long time “strong and intelligently bold woman” and I am glad to see that although Christ refine’s my strength and intelligence…He will not take them away or undermine those gifts in me. Many friends have thought the bible teaches that women must be weak both in mind and strength to follow Christ – I do hope we can see in this discussion that those lies are not in the bible or what God intends for His daughters. How He Is Always With Us
To be continued…
Proverbs 31:10-12 (NLT) A Wife of Noble Character: Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.
The last two weeks, I’ve discussed traits of a Godly man from a book my husband and I are reading titled, “what’s the difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible” by John Piper. We are enjoying this book so far; it’s stretching us and giving us a lot to consider. I continue to be amazed about the difference that manhood and womanhood is defined and intended by God (our Creator) and how the world seeks to redefine or mold us.
I will reiterate that the gender differences Piper describes from the Bible are not based on tasks, skill level or intelligence – it’s based on desires and intent or motives…it seems so far anyway, we haven’t finished it yet.
John Piper has a working definition of manhood and womanhood –these next two weeks I’ll share his biblical insights on womanhood.
“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.” Piper’s disclaimer: “…the definitions are not exhaustive. There is more to masculinity and femininity, but there is not less.”
1. “Mature femininity refers not to what sin has made of womanhood or what popular opinion makes of it, but what God willed for it to be at its best. …False or immature stereotypes are sometimes identified as the essence of femininity.”
2. The following biblical examples draw us to strong, enduring Godly women and the traits God blesses within each of His daughters He has created: Ruth, Naomi, Sarah, Mary (Jesus’ mother and Magdalene) – I strongly recommend doing character studies of each woman. Just like reading biographies of great men and women, doing scripture character studies can encourage us to be more than we thought we could be.
3. Piper focuses on “mature femininity as a disposition rather than a set of behaviors or roles because mature femininity will express itself in so many different ways depending on the situation….and the specific acts that grow out of the disposition of womanhood vary considerably from relationship to relationship, not to mention from culture to culture.”
4. He does refer to the “s” word…you knew it was coming…SUBMISSION. It is “best if we define submission not in terms of specific behaviors, but as a disposition to yield to the husband’s authority and an inclination to follow his leadership. This [definition] is important because no submission of one human being to another is absolute. The husband does not replace Christ as the woman’s supreme authority. She must never follow her husband’s leadership into sin. She will not steal with him or get drunk with him or savor pornography with him or develop deceptive schemes with him. But even where a Christian wife may have to stand with Christ against the sinful will of her husband, she can still have a spirit of submission - a disposition to yield. She can show by her attitude and behavior that she does not like resisting his will and that she longs for him to forsake sin and lead in righteousness so that her disposition to honor him as head can again produce harmony.”
Like I said, many thoughts to consider and reexamine. I have been a long time “strong and intelligently bold woman” and I am glad to see that although Christ refine’s my strength and intelligence…He will not take them away or undermine those gifts in me. Many friends have thought the bible teaches that women must be weak both in mind and strength to follow Christ – I do hope we can see in this discussion that those lies are not in the bible or what God intends for His daughters. How He Is Always With Us
To be continued…
Monday, May 13, 2013
Calling All Men, Part 2
Ephesians 5:25 (NLT) For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her
Last week, I started a conversation about Biblical Manhood and Womanhood based on the book, “what’s the difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible” by John Piper. I’m going “finish” the thoughts on biblical manhood this week and next week, pick up the discussion with biblical womanhood.
I’ll repeat Piper’s working definition of biblical Manhood: “At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.” Piper’s disclaimer: “…the definitions are not exhaustive. There is more to masculinity and femininity, but there is not less.” I listed the first 4 points last week – so if you need to review, you can check it out now…otherwise, we will just continue.
5. “Mature masculinity accepts the burden of the final say in disagreements between husband and wife, but does not presume to use it in every instance. …Unilateral decision-making is not usually a mark of good leadership. It generally comes from laziness or insecurity or inconsiderate disregard. …[A Christian husband] seeks input from his wife and often adopts her ideas. Implied in the love that governs the [marriage] relationship (Ephesians 5:25), in the equality of personhood implied in being created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), and in the status of being fellow-heirs of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).”
6. “Mature masculinity expresses its leadership in romantic sexual relations by communicating an aura of strong and tender pursuit. …Mature masculinity will not be reduced to raw desire in sexual relations. …It remains alert to the deeper personal needs of woman and mingles strength and tenderness to make her joy complete. …It is important to say that there is, of course, a feminine pursuit in sexual relations.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (NLT) The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
7. “Mature masculinity expresses itself in a family by taking the initiative in disciplining the children when both parents are present and a family standard has been broken. Mothers and fathers are both to be obeyed by their children (Ephesians 6:1). Mothers as well as fathers are esteemed teachers in the home (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20; 31:1). [Mothers] carry rights of authority and leadership toward their children as do [fathers]. They do not need to wait til Dad gets home from work to spank a disobedient child. …[However], few things will help children understand the meaning of responsible, loving masculinity better than watching who takes the responsibility to set them right when Mom and Dad are both present.”
8. “Mature masculinity is sensitive to cultural expressions of masculinity and adapts to them (where no sin is involved) in order to communicate to a woman that a man would like to relate not in any aggressive or perverted way, but with maturity and dignity as a man. It would mean learning manners and customs. …These things change from culture to culture and from era to era. The point is that masculine leadership will not scorn them or ignore them, but seek to use them to cultivate and communicate a healthy pattern of complementarity in the relationships between men and women. …Primarily it is the responsibility of mature manhood to establish a pattern of behaviors and attitudes – a kind of collegial choreography – that enable men and women to move with freedom and ease and moral security among each other.”
9. “Mature masculinity recognizes that the call to leadership is a call to repentance and humility and risk-taking. …Masculinity and femininity have been distorted by our sin. Taking up the responsibility to lead must therefore be a careful and humble task. We must admit as men that historically there have been grace abuses. In each of our lives we have ample cause for contrition at our passivity or our domination. …The call to leadership is a call to humble oneself and take the responsibility to be a servant-leader in ways that are appropriate to every different relationship to women.
Next Week…Calling all Mature Women. Love Does
Last week, I started a conversation about Biblical Manhood and Womanhood based on the book, “what’s the difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible” by John Piper. I’m going “finish” the thoughts on biblical manhood this week and next week, pick up the discussion with biblical womanhood.
I’ll repeat Piper’s working definition of biblical Manhood: “At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.” Piper’s disclaimer: “…the definitions are not exhaustive. There is more to masculinity and femininity, but there is not less.” I listed the first 4 points last week – so if you need to review, you can check it out now…otherwise, we will just continue.
5. “Mature masculinity accepts the burden of the final say in disagreements between husband and wife, but does not presume to use it in every instance. …Unilateral decision-making is not usually a mark of good leadership. It generally comes from laziness or insecurity or inconsiderate disregard. …[A Christian husband] seeks input from his wife and often adopts her ideas. Implied in the love that governs the [marriage] relationship (Ephesians 5:25), in the equality of personhood implied in being created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), and in the status of being fellow-heirs of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).”
6. “Mature masculinity expresses its leadership in romantic sexual relations by communicating an aura of strong and tender pursuit. …Mature masculinity will not be reduced to raw desire in sexual relations. …It remains alert to the deeper personal needs of woman and mingles strength and tenderness to make her joy complete. …It is important to say that there is, of course, a feminine pursuit in sexual relations.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (NLT) The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
7. “Mature masculinity expresses itself in a family by taking the initiative in disciplining the children when both parents are present and a family standard has been broken. Mothers and fathers are both to be obeyed by their children (Ephesians 6:1). Mothers as well as fathers are esteemed teachers in the home (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20; 31:1). [Mothers] carry rights of authority and leadership toward their children as do [fathers]. They do not need to wait til Dad gets home from work to spank a disobedient child. …[However], few things will help children understand the meaning of responsible, loving masculinity better than watching who takes the responsibility to set them right when Mom and Dad are both present.”
8. “Mature masculinity is sensitive to cultural expressions of masculinity and adapts to them (where no sin is involved) in order to communicate to a woman that a man would like to relate not in any aggressive or perverted way, but with maturity and dignity as a man. It would mean learning manners and customs. …These things change from culture to culture and from era to era. The point is that masculine leadership will not scorn them or ignore them, but seek to use them to cultivate and communicate a healthy pattern of complementarity in the relationships between men and women. …Primarily it is the responsibility of mature manhood to establish a pattern of behaviors and attitudes – a kind of collegial choreography – that enable men and women to move with freedom and ease and moral security among each other.”
9. “Mature masculinity recognizes that the call to leadership is a call to repentance and humility and risk-taking. …Masculinity and femininity have been distorted by our sin. Taking up the responsibility to lead must therefore be a careful and humble task. We must admit as men that historically there have been grace abuses. In each of our lives we have ample cause for contrition at our passivity or our domination. …The call to leadership is a call to humble oneself and take the responsibility to be a servant-leader in ways that are appropriate to every different relationship to women.
Next Week…Calling all Mature Women. Love Does
Monday, May 6, 2013
Calling All Men, Part 1
Esther 10:3 (NLT) He was very great among the Jews, who held him in high esteem, because he continued to work for the good of his people and to speak up for the welfare of all their descendants.
My husband and I are reading a book titled, “what’s the difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible” by John Piper. This book is very intriguing so far…to say the least. It’s amazing to me (us) how manhood and womanhood is defined and intended by God (our Creator) and how the world seeks to redefine or mold us differently. Also, how the world tries to lie about what God intended in the first place. For example, almost every commercial or sit-com represents the man/father as an incompetent oaf who is tolerated at best and openly mocked at worst.
The gender differences Piper describes from the Bible are not based on tasks, skill level or intelligence – it’s based on desires and intent or motives…it seems so far anyway, we haven’t finished it yet.
John Piper has a working definition of manhood and womanhood –this week and next I’ll share about manhood, after I’ll share his biblical insights on womanhood.
“At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.” Piper’s disclaimer: “…the definitions are not exhaustive. There is more to masculinity and femininity, but there is not less.”
1. “Mature masculinity expresses itself not in the demand to be served, but in the strength to serve and to sacrifice for the good of woman.” This means not only his wife and daughters but his mother, sisters, “sisters” in Christ and those women he may work with or have social interaction. Luke 22:26 (NLT) But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant.
2. “Mature masculinity does not assume the authority of Christ over woman, but advocates it. …that means leading his wife forward to depend not on him but on Christ. And practically, that rules out belittling supervision and fastidious oversight. It is meant to rule out all disdaining condescension adn any act that makes a mature woman feel patronized rather than honored and prized. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT) In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
3. “Mature masculinity does not presume superiority, but mobilizes the strengths of others. No human leader is infallible. Nor is any man superior to those he leads in every respect. In Ephesians 5:28-29 the wife is pictured as part of the man’s body as the church is part of Christ’s body….This rules out a leadership that treats a wife [or women in general] like a child. Moreover Christ does not lead the church as his daughter but as his wife. He is preparing her to be a “fellow-heir” (Romans 8:17), not a servant girl.”
4. “Mature masculinity does not have to initiate every action, but feels the responsibility to provide a general pattern of initiative. In a family the husband does not do all the thinking and planning. His leadership is to take responsibility in general to initiate and carry through the spiritual and moral planning for family life. …illustrated in Genesis 3:9 when God says to Adam first, “Where are you?” Eve had sinned first, but God does not seek her out first. Adam must give the first account to God for the moral life of the family in the garden of Eden. This does not mean the woman has no responsibility, as we will see. It simply means that man bears a unique and primary one.”
TO BE CONTINUED…Courageous
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)