Marriage of 3

Ephesians 5:25-33(NIV) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

The only people who don’t have marriage issues are single people. I have said this many times throughout the years as friends and others have shared with me their hearts and sorrow when working to overcome marital concerns. a song that calls me to reconnect

Marriage takes time, commitment, patience, humor…tenacity. “Wait,” you might say, “you didn’t list love.” “Love, yeah, marriage definitely takes love, but, what do you believe love is,” I might reply. Is love a feeling that can be experienced and unexperienced – can you fall in and out of love? The dictionary defines love as both a noun and a verb. So a gut check question always is “how do I view love?”

Love is the only thing that endures (1 Corinthians 13). When everything in this world falls apart and ends…love will be the only thing left…what does it mean and look like then? In the thirteenth chapter of 1 Corinthians, love is defined as patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not self-seeking, not easily angered, doesn’t keep a record of wrong, does not delight in evil but is joyful in truth, protective, trusting, hopeful, persevering, never failing (noun and verb together always). So, another gut question…what kind of “love” are we making and extending to others? If these are the definitions of love, I have fallen short…everyday. Not without a hope of another chance to get it right, but, in all honesty, I fall short in genuinely and completely loving those around me. 1 John 4:7-8 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. a song that reminds me what true love looks like

Back to marriage…the real topic of this particular post (although, “Love Making” sounds like a catchy blog post too – and I’m sure God will teach me some things to share).

While reading “Thriving Family” magazine (free I might add from Focus on the Family), there was an article about how to get “Closer to God and Each Other" by Dr. David Clarke. It reminded me of how I have described our marriage as “a marriage of 3.” (there are actually wall plaques and such with this sentiment too now) When Christians marry, they are representing Christ and His church. We represent the love, care and honor that Christ shows and His church is supposed to reciprocate. This article really clearly articulated ways to cherish, love and nurture a strong relationship with your spouse and God.

I’m simply going to paraphrase and share the wisdom:
1.    Share Your Spiritual Lives: 30 minute couple talk times: share what God is doing in your life through His word, experiences with others, daily quiet times, etc. How you are applying scripture in your life – spiritual set-backs and victories.
2.    Pray Together Regularly: jot down praises and prayers requests. List all kinds of things as you need: your marriage, children, friends, family, church, physical problems, job concerns, ministries/charities you love and want to support, finances, missionaries, people in your life who don’t know Jesus, neighbors – like other prayer times, list those things with which you want God to intercede, change and grow…all the while praising Him for the work He’s going to do and has done. (Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.) Prayer deepens conversation and leads you to a greater level of intimacy. It will be awkward and weird and difficult at first – like any new habit you are trying to make stick…this will be worth overcoming the awkwardness.
3.    Depend on God in tough times: life is painful and overwhelming at times…isn’t that one of the reasons you got married, so you wouldn’t have to walk this journey of life alone? Ask God to show you what He is teaching you through these moments/experiences. I would add, don’t forget to write down important turning points in the journey with God during these difficult moments– this helps to give you confidence and build your faith in God and one another during the next difficult time you get to endure together.

As you depend on God in these tough times, the three of you (God, husband and wife) will be strengthened and encouraged for the highs of life too. You will be 3 individuals working together and united as ONE.  the commitment, a song of unity

Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.