John 8:36 (NIV) So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
For four weeks now, I’ve discussed traits of a Godly man and woman from a book my husband and I are reading titled, “what’s the difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible” by John Piper. This book, so far, is giving us a lot to consider and more importantly, a lot to reconsider. The gender differences Piper describes from the Bible are not based on tasks, skill level or intelligence. The differences have nothing to do with the stereotypes or lies the world will try to give you about the “church’s” degradation or misogynistic roles of men and women. It reveals that God has always intended men and women to be empowered uniquely and harmoniously – completing and encouraging one another in all ways.
I will once again share John Piper’s working definition of womanhood as well as insights I’ve gleaned and taken straight from his book – “At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.” Piper’s disclaimer: “…the definitions are not exhaustive. There is more to masculinity and femininity, but there is not less.”
5. “The disposition of mature femininity is experienced as freeing.” Did you catch that…IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE FREEING TO BE A WOMAN…I for one have not felt a whole lot of freedom in my womanhood – unhealthy body image, pressure to be things I’ve never felt comfortable in, pressure to express a “sexual revolution” that binds a woman to sinful practices and whims of perversion have skewed any “freedom” I was supposed to feel as a woman – I’ve had much more inclination to hide or undermine my femininity than to be free to express it. I pray for others like me, that Holy Spirit lifts your head and transforms your mind and body with the truths we are learning through our time together in this little corner of the blogoshere. Piper gives this illustration of the freedom Christ gives us, His daughters as we are conformed to His image in our “mature femininity” and aligned with His purpose of creating us women. “two women may jump from an airplane and experience the thrilling freedom of free-falling. But there is a difference: one is encumbered by a parachute on her back and the other is free from this burden. Which person is free? The one without the parachute feels free – even freer, since she does not feel the constraints of the parachute straps. But she is not truly free. She is in bondage to the force of gravity [the world] and to the deception that all is well because she feels unencumbered. This false sense of freedom is in fact bondage to calamity which is sure to happen after a fleeting moment of pleasure. … But the mature and wise woman does not seek this freedom by bending reality to fit her desires. … The greatest freedom is found in being so changed by God’s Spirit that you can do what you love to do and know that it conforms to the design of God and leads to life and glory (Romans 12:2). A More Beautiful You
6. “God does not intend for women to be squelched or cramped or frustrated. But neither does he intend for women to do whatever seems to remove those feelings without regard to the appropriateness of the action. Sometimes freedom comes from outward changes in circumstance. Sometimes it comes from inward changes of the heart and mind. … [T]rue freedom is not giving in to our every impulse. It is the sometimes painful and exhilarating discovery of God’s power to fight free from the bondage of our sinful selves.” (1 John 2:1-4).
7. “ ”Affirm” means that mature women advocate the kind of masculine-feminine complementarity that …gives the other the greatest scope for natural, pure, mature expression. But when a man does not possess mature masculinity the response of a mature woman is not to abandon her femininity. … there may be other occasions when women have no interaction with men and yet are still mature in their femininity. This is because femininity is a disposition to affirm the strength and leadership of worthy men, not just to experience it firsthand. …[T]here are [also] unique feminine strengths and insights that women embody even before they can be given to any man.”
8. “ “Receive” means that mature femininity feels natural and glad to accept the strength and leadership of worthy men. A mature woman is glad when a respectful, caring, upright man offers sensitive strength and provides a pattern of appropriate initiatives in their relationship. … She feels herself enhanced and honored and freed by his caring strength and servant-leadership.” Again, that word “freed” by strength and servant-leadership…if you are surrounded by men who lack a “caring strength and servant-leadership,” you may need to rethink who you let near.
9. “ “Nurture” means that a mature woman senses a responsibility not merely to receive, but to nurture and strengthen the resources of masculinity. She joins in the act of strength and shares in the process of leadership. She is, as Genesis 2:18 says, “a helper suitable for him. … [N]ot to imply…that women are merely recipients in relation to men. Mature women bring nurturing strengths and insights that make men stronger and wiser and that make the relationship richer.”
10. “Mature femininity does not express itself in the same way toward every man. A mature woman who is married, for example, does not welcome the same kind of strength and leadership from other men that she welcomes from her husband. But she will affirm and receive and nurture the strength and leadership of men in some form in all her relationships with men. This is true even though she may find herself in roles that put some men in a subordinate role to her. … There are ways for a woman to interact even with a male subordinate that signal to him and others her endorsement of his mature manhood in relationship to her as a woman. … [C]ulturally appropriate expressions of respect for his kind of strength, and glad acceptance of his gentlemanly courtesies.” There is some of this discourse in Piper’s book that I currently disagree with (I say currently because I don’t want to hinder my ability to change my mind or understand his position in way that I could agree with), however, he goes on with this point to say that a woman’s influence in personal relationships (and some professional) to be mostly non-directive…the way I am understanding his point at this time is that our influence as women needs to be indirect, without direct advice or opinion. I really hope this is not his intent. I am way to direct and do not believe in coded communication – I also think that when Christ says “make your no, no and your yes, yes”(Matthew 5:37) applied to women as well. **If you read this book and understand this part differently, please sharpen me and my understanding. Thanks in advance.**
Something I want to add before I end on one of Piper’s insights is this: there have been times in my past when I definitely didn’t “feel” like a woman (infertility comes to mind). I want to encourage anyone who doesn’t “feel” like a whole, complete woman for any reason that a relationship with Christ makes all our “holes” full…if you are not married, He makes you His bride. He becomes your love and provides for all your needs. He will be the lifter of your head and will hold you to Him. If you do not have children, He gives you children to love as you serve His kingdom – He will reveal little ones who desperately need the care and love of a godly woman. You may be the only godly, female influence in the life of a precious one whose home life is void of such comfort. Pray for those little ones around you, and Christ will give you a spiritual son or daughter to call your own – just like He gave a son a mother and a mother a son before He died on the cross (John 19:26). He does not desire any to be without family and love – You could be that loving, motherly presence to someone praying for you right now.
A final thought from Piper, “If it is true that manhood and womanhood are to complement rather than duplicate each other, and if it is true that the way God made us is good, then we should be very slow to gather a list of typical male weaknesses or a list of typical female weaknesses and draw a conclusion that either is of less value than the other. Men and women are of equal value and dignity in the eyes of God – both created in the image of God and utterly unique in the universe.”
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