Ephesians 5:25 (NLT) For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her
Last week, I started a conversation about Biblical Manhood and Womanhood based on the book, “what’s the difference? Manhood and Womanhood Defined According to the Bible” by John Piper. I’m going “finish” the thoughts on biblical manhood this week and next week, pick up the discussion with biblical womanhood.
I’ll repeat Piper’s working definition of biblical Manhood: “At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man’s differing relationships.” Piper’s disclaimer: “…the definitions are not exhaustive. There is more to masculinity and femininity, but there is not less.” I listed the first 4 points last week – so if you need to review, you can check it out now…otherwise, we will just continue.
5. “Mature masculinity accepts the burden of the final say in disagreements between husband and wife, but does not presume to use it in every instance. …Unilateral decision-making is not usually a mark of good leadership. It generally comes from laziness or insecurity or inconsiderate disregard. …[A Christian husband] seeks input from his wife and often adopts her ideas. Implied in the love that governs the [marriage] relationship (Ephesians 5:25), in the equality of personhood implied in being created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), and in the status of being fellow-heirs of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).”
6. “Mature masculinity expresses its leadership in romantic sexual relations by communicating an aura of strong and tender pursuit. …Mature masculinity will not be reduced to raw desire in sexual relations. …It remains alert to the deeper personal needs of woman and mingles strength and tenderness to make her joy complete. …It is important to say that there is, of course, a feminine pursuit in sexual relations.” 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 (NLT) The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
7. “Mature masculinity expresses itself in a family by taking the initiative in disciplining the children when both parents are present and a family standard has been broken. Mothers and fathers are both to be obeyed by their children (Ephesians 6:1). Mothers as well as fathers are esteemed teachers in the home (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20; 31:1). [Mothers] carry rights of authority and leadership toward their children as do [fathers]. They do not need to wait til Dad gets home from work to spank a disobedient child. …[However], few things will help children understand the meaning of responsible, loving masculinity better than watching who takes the responsibility to set them right when Mom and Dad are both present.”
8. “Mature masculinity is sensitive to cultural expressions of masculinity and adapts to them (where no sin is involved) in order to communicate to a woman that a man would like to relate not in any aggressive or perverted way, but with maturity and dignity as a man. It would mean learning manners and customs. …These things change from culture to culture and from era to era. The point is that masculine leadership will not scorn them or ignore them, but seek to use them to cultivate and communicate a healthy pattern of complementarity in the relationships between men and women. …Primarily it is the responsibility of mature manhood to establish a pattern of behaviors and attitudes – a kind of collegial choreography – that enable men and women to move with freedom and ease and moral security among each other.”
9. “Mature masculinity recognizes that the call to leadership is a call to repentance and humility and risk-taking. …Masculinity and femininity have been distorted by our sin. Taking up the responsibility to lead must therefore be a careful and humble task. We must admit as men that historically there have been grace abuses. In each of our lives we have ample cause for contrition at our passivity or our domination. …The call to leadership is a call to humble oneself and take the responsibility to be a servant-leader in ways that are appropriate to every different relationship to women.
Next Week…Calling all Mature Women. Love Does
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